All the two of you have been doing lately is fighting. Now your wife has told you that she hates you, and wants to leave, or you think that she does. Either way, you're in a bad situation. No matter what you're thinking, your marriage does not have to end in divorce.
Never, ever threaten her to stay with you. While I've known men who did this (and, of course, lost everything in the process), it only leads to definitely losing her.
Don't try to figure out what's going on in her mind. You can't do it. You CAN control your own actions towards her, though. What will that do? It may very well turn things around for both of you, and give you a happy marriage again.
If your wife absolutely, positively wants to leave, then let her. That does not mean you are giving up. It means that you understand that she needs some time to think about things, and she must be out of the house to do that. She can't get over the anger and 'hatred' if she's faced with it constantly.
Remember that if you beg her not to leave, or try everything you can think of to make her stay with you, it won't work. She may give in, but it will only last for a very short while. And who wants to live with someone who hates them?
She may not hate you at all. She may have other problems that she's having trouble dealing with, but doesn't know how to cope. She may be taking it out on you, because you're her husband - you're supposed to be there no matter what, right?
You can't let yourself live this way, either. It is killing your emotions. You may be on guard all the time, thinking if you do the right things, she won't leave. Don't do that to yourself. No matter what you do or say, she'll do what she wants. It's called free will.
When the two of you allow each other to spend some time apart, most of the time you will find yourself back together again. Emotions simply cannot heal if you can't get out of the situation, even for a little while.
That's why so many couples try a trial separation before they think about divorce. Most of these couples find, when they are away from each other, that they really do love each other, and can't live without each other.
Even if one spouse tells the other that they hate them, they really don't. They may hate the stress your household may be under, or they may hate different things in their life right now, but the only one they can take it out on is you.
There is help for men who go through this. Alot of men say my wife hates me, and I don't want to lose her. You honestly do NOT have to lose her.
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